Caniacs were already beyond thrilled to have Skinner as part of the organization and moments like Wednesday night only heightened SkinnerMania in the Triangle. Hockey fans are crazy for all things Skinner and if there's one thing we value here at the Siren, it's giving the people what they want....even if they are completely made up. So it gives me great pleasure to announce that the Siren has obtained an exclusive, detailed and completely made up report of Jeff's time in Las Vegas. Excited? Yeah me too! And wait, the best part is yet to come. This exclusive, detailed and completely made up report of Jeff's time in Las Vegas is written by none other than Jeff Skinner himself! *insert girlish squealing here* Alright settle down now. Without further ado, here is Jeff's essay about his time in Vegas.
-------
 |
| That's me! |
By: Jeff Jeffrey Jeff Skinner
Hi! It's Jeff. I'm in Las Vegas and it's so cool here!! There are all these lights and realy big hotels and I have the biggest bathroom ever! It's even bigger than the suana sauna (that's a tricky word!) that we went...oh. Mom says I'm not allowed to talk about that. Yeah I brought my whole family with me because Mom said I couldn't come to "Sin City" (she always says it like it did something naughty) without them here and I really wanted to come and so I had to let them and they're staying at the palms too. They aren't all staying in my room though because I'm a big kid now and I'm not scared without them. But we have one of those doors in the middle of the room just in case they need me for sumthin. I also brought Jamie with me since mom and dad both said I could bring a freind. I like Bainer. He's fun.
The hotel is really neat. You can order roomservice whenever you want! I had chicken nuggets last night real late. They were tasty and shaped like the little bunnies I sometimes see on my brother's maguhzines. Me and Bainer also had Fruit Loops for brekfast on Wedesday. Shhh...don't tell coach mo-we're not supposed to eat that stuff at home. There's also a pool here. I wanted to go but Mom said I couldn't becuz it was full of bunnies. I don't get it. I like bunnies-they're fluffy. But I didn't think they liked to swim.
 |
| The Playboy Pool at the Palms |
We got here on Tuesday and then I went to talk to some reporters. It was ok. Most of them are nice. They kept asking me about this kid named Justin. I looked but I didn't see his name on the list of people nomininimated. Grown-ups are
But when we got there there weren't any people our age. It was all these grown-up girls like my mom's age. I asked Bainer if the X-men were coming later and then this lady asked us if we were lost and then Jamie realized our tickets were for something called Men of X which I guess isnt the same thing as the X-Men so we had to leave. I was real sad but Bainer promised the next day would be more fun. I wasnt sure becuz I had to wear a suit and I dont like suits.
 |
| "The forward goes around the back of the net and shoots the puck through the five hole." |
 |
| Hi Gammie! |
I couldnt go to the grown-up party since they only had grown up fruit punch and games I cant play. But we still had fun we went and saw the Blue Men. They played these giant drums and got covered in paint. Do they know the green men in Vancouver? I bet they're cousins. Bainer and me got to stay up real late and watch movies (but mom made dad take the remote away when we found a channel called "payperview") and I had extra dessert at dinner. But I couldn't eat out of the trophy since mom said it would be to messy.
