Holy Moly What Do We Do Without Our Goalie?!

In probably the least surprising moment of the year thus far, the Canes dropped their 12th in a row to Columbus last night. But no one is talking about that today. Instead everyone is insanely concerned about the fate of our Campion Wardolie who was taken to the hospital after getting cut by Rick Nash's skate. Calamity Cam remains in the hospital and is out for, as JR put it, a "fairly long period of time." Ouch. My heart hurts.

Let us all take a moment to offer a prayer to the hockey gods (or the diety of your choice) for Cam's speedy recovery.

Ahem
Dear merciful and benevolent hockey gods,
I would like to apologize on behalf of all Canes' fans for our blatant disregard of your power and excellence. We shouldn't have cursed you when things didn't go our team's way. We had no right to complain when we lost guys to injury and suspension. How dare we assume we were going to excel this year? That is for you and you alone to decide. We admit we've sinned and we will do anything to repent for these mistakes. If there is anything I can do personally to right this wrong, just send me a sign. I will no longer make fun of E.Staal. I will call Creepie by his real name. I will stop making suggestive comments about Tripp's preferences. But please for the love of Gretzky, give us Cam back. We will never again take him for granted nor shall we question your power over the hockey world if you will give us this one small bit of hope. Amen.

As bad as the Cam in the hospital thing is, what may be even worse is that the fate of goaltending for the Carolina Hurricanes is in the hands of one Michael Leighton. Dear god. Is it too early to cue the locusts and the 7 horsemen? No? Ok I didn't think so. Now to be fair to Leights, he did do admirably well during Cam's absence last season, but that was a much shorter period of time and with a much less fragile hockey club. This is a horse of a different color and it's an ugly one. Leighton is inheriting a mess of a team that usually looks to Cam to be their saving grace. Sadly, I'm not entirely convinced that Leighton has the ability to deal with that situation. And neither Justin Peters nor Mike Murphy are ready to make the leap to NHL level goalie.

So, other than crying (and possibly some heavy drinking-NOTE I am not condoning alcoholism!) what do we do? Should Tripper come out of the press box and mind the nets again? Because I don't know if you knew this, but Tripp used to be a goaltender. Yup that's right, The Hurricane Siren-breaking news first. ;) Should Tommy B. come out of retirement and trade designer suits for Nike-Bauer pads? As fun as both of those options would be, I don't think they're all that realistic. And it's a shame because I had even figured out the perfect tagline John could use when Tripp made a big save-"and the little leprechaun snatches back his lucky charms!" Hehehe. Err...Tripp, I apologize, that was mean and largely uncalled for.

So back to the real world here...I could see one of two things happening.
Option 1-JR could do nothing and let Leighton fend for himself with guest appearances from Peters and Murphy as needed. This idea has some merit to it. The season is all but done (let's be honest here people-a MIRACLE would need to occur for this team to pull themselves out of the basement and we may have used up all of our miracles last season) and to make a desperate move to lock up a goaltender may do more harm than good. Why not let Leights earn his paycheck and prove whether he should be resigned next year or not? Is it really going to hurt our standings that much? FYI-we are in dead bang last so the answer is probably NO.

Option 2-JR could make one last ditch effort to get this team together and start their push for...29th? Ahhh...this appeasing the hockey gods thing isn't working so well for me today. He could trade for a current NHL goalie or bring someone in who doesn't have a team right now. Some suggestions-Manny Legace, Manny Fernandez or Kevin Weekes (JR LOVES TO RECYCLE!). I would still expect someone to get traded even if JR signed an out of work goalie. We are so close to the cap as it is that I don't think there would be room for anyone else (unless they are willing to work for delicious RBCC hotdogs and pulled pork sandwiches in which case-get them to Raleigh NOW).

Regardless of what happens with the goalie situation (Cam-heal like you've never healed before please) the rest of the team is going to need to step it up starting with the d-men. Cam will no longer be there to save their collective hineys and they cannot leave Leights hanging out to dry because he will fold like well...like wet laundry. And I think the D core goes the way of Timmy Gleason which leads me to my final thought for the day. I would like to officially endorse the Tim Gleason for Emperor campaign. Give that man a permanent A. Put him on the fast track for Captain. Heck maybe he and Sutter can co-coach the team while they're at it. (Thanks to Jenniwa30 for the picture.)

All tricks, no treats, for Canes' fans

In an effort to properly celebrate All Hallows Eve, the Canes decided to put on one of their scariest (as in oh my god are we really that bad?!) performances to date. Seriously y’all, M.Night Shyamalan would have said, “umm…maybe we should tone this down a touch.” Despite all of their meetings and “practices”, the Canes continue to look lost out there. In fact, if they hadn’t spent so much time falling over, I’d say their performance was more befitting this team (courtesy of Jenniwa30):
Now before I really get going into full-on rant mode, I should take time to acknowledge a few positive things. First off in non-game related news, a belated congrats goes out to Michael Leighton and his wife on the arrival of their newest mini-Hurricane. It’s now only a matter of time before we can set up a “dads vs. kids” tournament.

Positive thing #2-Brandon scored his first goal of the season today!!! I feel pretty safe in saying it was the highlight of the game. So way to go Butter-make it impossible for them to send you back to Albany. Now if I could just find a photo of the post goal celebration...well maybe the actual video will just have to do.


And that’s pretty much the end of the positive things. Well wait, hang on. Scotty had a good game. And Joni had some nice defensive moments. And Cam looked really nice while he chilled on the bench basking in his good fortune to not have to deal with the sucktastic game taking place out on the ice. And…yes that’s about it.

I feel that with what I am about to say, I need to make a declaration first. For the record, I really like Leights; he is ten times better than Crumbs was and he has the added bonus of not being nearly as creepy. Ok now that that’s been cleared up…

My god, man what was that? 6 goals against? I mean seriously, at least half of them were stoppable and you looked shaky on every save. Some of it was your team playing figure skater in front of you, some of it was rust, and some of it was distraction I am sure. But still, you have to admit, things did not go well for you this afternoon. In fact, maybe Philly just isn’t a place you should play; you don’t have a good track record there. Actually, I don’t anticipate you playing much of anywhere for quite some time. It’s not you, it’s…no now that I think about it, some of it was definitely you.

Now as for the rest of the team, they don’t get off scot free either. Boys, I understand this isn’t how you wanted to start the season and things are tough for you right now. But for the love of the hockey gods, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER!! Learn each others’ names and numbers, maybe spend some time together. You play like you’ve never even met each other before and that’s just unacceptable. You’re getting better, but at this rate, we’re going to need an 882 game season to get where we need to be. Please figure this whole thing out quickly no matter how you have to do it (yes hot tubs may need to be involved and you know what-fans won’t question things that bring about results). Because if you don’t, big changes are going to happen and you may wake up one morning to find that your BFF is now rocking another jersey. And no one wants to break up friendships, least of all JR.

Ok so what are the positives here? Well the month of October is officially over for the Hurricanes and if things go according to plan, they may be able to get a fresh start tomorrow. Players, and fans, can all just pretend that the season starts on November 1st and we can put this whole mess behind us. Doesn’t that sound good? Tomorrow marks the return of Ruu from his 3 game timeout. That, coupled with the return of Tim “I’m going to expletive deleted you up” Gleason, may not be enough to right the ship on its own, but it sure will make watching them lose less painful for the ladies in the house. But what may be most important to the direction of this hockey club is the return of E.Staal’s human security blanket. Binky…errr…I mean E.Cole may be the spark our franchise player needs to show up on a semi-regular basis and start earning that ridiculously large paycheck.

If the Canes are to even sniff the playoffs this season, changes need to be made; whether those come from the players themselves or from the man holding the reigns in the front office remains to be seen. All I know is that this cannot continue, if only for the sake of my emotional and mental health.